the first thing i woke up this morning,
all my emotions started to come back.
i was supposed to wake up early to study,
but my notes ended up 'soaked' with my tears.
i let myself cry for a moment,
and forced myself to study.
luckily i managed to do so.
but things started to screw up when i reach the exam hall.
firstly, i sat at the wrong table.
my table was supposed to be at the other side of the hall,
after having double confirmed with the teachers.
so i brought my stationeries over.
and then, i realised, i brought along the ans sheet which is supposed to be left on the table for that candidate.
so, i walked back again.
its a tedious process, cos i have to 'zig-zag' my way back.
and then i realised i didnt bring my bag over,
so together with my bag, i 'zig-zag' my way back again.
by that time, the question paper is already being given out..
oh well.. i finally settled down at my designated seating.
as for the paper,
my mind is in a total blank when i started to work on it.
i stared at every questions.. trying to recall how is it going to be solved.
this is the first time im having difficulties in maths.
anyway, i finished 90% of it, leaving 10marks undone.
just dont wish to think anymore.
even for the 90% done, its all based on my instinct that im using the correct method.
oh wells. my instinct tells me that i will pass this paper though... :)
but my instinct also tells me that it will be tough for the next paper on friday.. :(
as for my mood now,
i have no wish to talk about it,
for i am still feeling ...
hai.
this is my first time speaking up on the phone during an argument.
i think i've changed.
i used to keep quiet or just hang up the phone straight..
perhaps this is the effect of keeping too much to myself,
and once an opportunity comes along,
you'll just spit it all out.
i guess i'm someone who is easily pampered upon coaxing.
but, assurance is what i need.
and i hope you will fulfil that.
though we cant be together,
i do hope that you will still spare a thought for my feelings before doing something.
if you are worried for me, dont do something that will hurt me much much more.
i would be glad.
rained @ 9:33 PM
he is seeing someone else.
i wish i could stab myself.
it hurts so much..
rained @ 3:26 PM
your actions make my life feels even more threatened.
rained @ 12:28 AM
Sunday, August 10, 2008
rained @ 9:37 PM
Saturday, August 09, 2008
i am feeling terrible!!!!can anyone tell me how not to think so much?
rained @ 9:43 PM
sighs.
i really thought im getting on fine.. until yesterday..
today, things got worse.
he gave me yet another blow,
and asked me to ignore him.
because we are just purely friends now.
can someone tell me how to ignore someone whom you've given your heart to for 3 years 7 mths?
upon hearing the word, 'dating', my heart stopped beating.
tears start to form and fall uncontrollably.
i am hurt once again, though we are only friends now.
and all he can say is to ignore him, for we are just friends now.
is he really ignorant of my feelings..?
or he purposely do that to make my heart die?
or he just wanna himself to be happy..?
its really hard not to think of anything now..
really hard.
i am suppressing my emotions now for i do not wish to cry in front of people.
yes, i will suppress it until my exam ends.
really not worth to fail it because of him.
sighs.
rained @ 11:46 AM
Friday, August 08, 2008
you went against your words, again.
extremely upset.
but managed to calm myself down,
all thanks to her.. :)
what you do really makes me wonder whether am i still your so-called 'good friend' in your eyes or not.maybe i am just thinking too much.. real too much.sighs.
rained @ 8:15 PM
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
okok. i've sorted out my thoughts.
think its better if we remained as friends,
rather than we keep on quarrelling till no end.
haha. right?
agree.. *knods head*
i did thought of drafting out a mind-map,
stating, 'the advantages and disadvantages of.. us.. in future..'
haha. ok i know its rather ironic.
thats why i didnt do that. haha!
okok. i need to start studying tonight.
exam is just a week away.
but i have not started anything!
wish me luck.. i desperately need that. =)
thanks to those who showed their concern for the past days.i really appreciate that.i'll be fine.. dont worry.. so glad to have u guys! :>
rained @ 2:31 PM
at times, i managed to convince myself to think positively.
but it doesnt last long..
argh!
when i woke up today, i cried.. yup.
everything started again.
sighs..
rained @ 2:11 PM
Monday, August 04, 2008
guys... are all the same afterall.
all they can say, is just one word.
and they can simply ignore our feelings..
you hurt me so so so much.
i am badly affected by what you said to me.
thanks for letting me know how bad, how incorrigible am i.
but there isnt a need to say certain things.
you stab me straight into my heart.
i cant imagine you lied to me and gave me false hope.you're great..
rained @ 2:42 PM
Saturday, August 02, 2008
can someone please give me a hard slap on my face to wake me up?
rained @ 11:08 PM
